r2i forum

Koeli;322356I came back home and straight away headed to the bed. Was extremely stressed out and burnt out with just 4-5 hours of sleep this week. Woke up now after 3 hours and got a panic attack!!!:(Ever since I came to know about this test, I have been trying to read a lot of material, being extra cautious with punctuations, grammar etc. wondering whether I'd be able to find directions (despite a GPS), whether I will be able to spell out words.... My husband says I am not handling it well and asked me "what if you don't get this job, there are other jobs". Well, I don't know why I think my life depends on it. Perhaps, it might just be the fear of unknown, since this is the first time I am taking such a test.Maybe I am better than I think I am, or maybe I am so bad that I should not even be attempting this:emdgust:

TGIF..if this does not work out, I have the entire weekend to recuperate.

I have a licensing exam on Tue. Didn't open a book. Took date 3 months back and procrastinated. Month back convinced myself, material is too much, can't be covered in a month. Now that its next week, oh well its too late now. Might as well get drunk on weekend. Got married or could have gone to 'stress buster club'. Reminds me of my engg days. Instead of club there was a 'special' movie theater which was always full from noon to 3am during exams. Always blame it on bastards who didn't let me study, those bloody cricket matches in the middle of night, daru parties and then bloody fights, chaiwalas who always gave chai on credit and that put me to best sleep ever, in nights before exams. Always hated guys who came over half hour before exam and would ask if I studied some topic (they played some mind games). Wonder how I cleared those exams! Was good at numerical part of exams, sucked at theory. Just filled in pages over pages in every single theoretical question. I think I repeated same stuff over and over again. Just changed words. Two stroke engine became dual force machine in next question. Last 15 mins were most critical as that was the time to copy from others. God bless those girls who studied all year long. I think was once caught cheating and supervisor just took pity on my innocent face. Viva was always a failure. I think Indian profs invented that mode of exam to take revenge at the end of semester. All of them just laughed when I gave answers. I always knew I was a funny guy but didn't know I could make those profs crack as well. In case you are wondering I was never under stress. I was just upset as these people were wasting my precious life. I mean when I knew I know nothing and they know I know nothing, why waste time? I think if I remember right, some prof asked me diameter of a dish based on some motion by a makhi (fly). And then he went on how I am just wasting my time in engg college. Asked if my dad had a business set up for me. I think he was the one who rejected some bestowed fellowship from MIT or Harvard and somehow everybody in college knew (do Indians apply to any other college in US?).

Once a honorary prof (very old gentleman) came to class to teach some course. Think he was some big shot (or atleast that was the rumor). Poor guy was caught in a cross fire (using chalks) between me and my friend. Both of us had a bet on who will hit his bald head. That day I knew I will never win gold medal for pistol shooting in Asian games. Poor prof got mad and left the class to complain to HOD. Well one thing led to another and whole class went to apologize at his house. Obviously me and my friend were strictly warned to not come. And then there were paper planes in some classes. Stupid shit in college was so boring and all the hot girls were in computer/electronics. For some reason guys in those branches were always pansies. Could never figure out the reason. I guess lack of sun exposure reduces testosterone. There should be some incentive for 20yr old, lust filled boy to come to class. Free Vidya Gyan is not enough. Who gives a damn about integration at third level (integration at third level with no help of differentiation really pissed me off). And then there was one time in 3rd year when some of my friends got tired of giving exams. On night before first exam decided to call out a strike. Next thing you know I was standing on one of the gates, stopping other students from entering into college. Well by third year I was 6'1" and well built. Those 1st/2nd year students didn't dare pass me by. Got assigned to wrong gate by those 'friends' (still can't figure out what happened to my skills that night, I think they drugged me and assigned me to wrong gate). Apparently it was not the gate girls used to come to college. I think greatest love story could have started during that difficult time of saving other students from misery of giving useless exams. One time during this strike, college principal came to my end and started questioning me. My partner in crime apparently chickened out, claiming his lack of control over spoken English (******* passed CAT with flying colors). And here I was being hammered by principal. That semester got 3 D's and now those D's won't let me enter Harvard (only if they could realize they are rejecting another Buffet in making). Luckily my parents didn't get the letter of being involved in such heinous activities in college. Thanks to my dad's ever changing job, address given during 1st year saved my meager allowance.

Hated multiple choice exams in USA. Even with book open, I could get only few right. 'No marks for trying' system sucks. Here I am still lost, confused, bewildered on why they paid me $1500/month to finish masters. Obviously my undergrad was nothing to speak of and my performance was average anyway. If they really wanted to get rid of me from department then why did they admit me? Those questions will always remain unanswered except that God wanted me to come to US mid-recession and miss out on boom of India. That $1500 could have gone very very long way in my engg days. If someone gave me that much money during that time, I think I would have been a star with troops behind me. Would have bought chai for everybody, every single day. Still that money helped in reducing daily stressful activities like walking too much in campus. Even though people said my college was just 1 mile from my apartment, I am convinced it was atleast 5 miles. There was no way I could have stopped in two different computer labs on my way and used yahoo chat with random people for half hour each. Bet it was from tiring walking routine. And then there was my GA cabin. I got a PC from my prof and I hooked up webcam, mic, fridge filled with solid and liquid snacks, and spent hours talking to random girls. God bless free internet and free color printing provided by department to work on thesis, my roomate would print photos of his God and I would print photos of my God (special goddesess to be specific. I was beyond Bollywood/Hollywood by this time). Had no classes or GA work on Fri. Weekends were really busy with club scene. Always came back home at 6am or later, if I could hitch a ride. Once forgot that I had a meeting with my advisor on Sat. Poor guy specially came on Sat to meet with me at 10. I came back from club at 6am, fully drunk and sleeping in some house I had never seen before. One desi who was on h1b at the time gave me a ride back to my apartment in his posh Camry (swear to God it was my dream car for little while before I saw one desi in a convertible Mercedes with some hot blonde). Reached my apartment at 12pm and noticed my meeting at 10 on my calendar. Well I never had effect of daru fade away so quick. I bet solution to hang over is adrenaline (after all it was a matter $1500 per month, didn't wanna let that go). No stopping to yahoo chat in this walk of apartment to college. I think I ran for first time in my life. And upon meeting my white prof (who was red by the time I reached his office) had to explain the state of my horrible disease and its affect resulting in insomnia. I think he was convinced it was bad fever and cold due to some virus at the time. Luckily eyes were red due to excessive alcohol, apparently voice was gone due to excessive shouting and hearing was little impaired due to loud music. What a sweet guy! offered me advise on what OTC drugs I could buy to treat it (well I guess he understood student health insurance was a mere piece of paper). He later in my final semester told me, he was really impressed with one of my answers on first day. See most Indian students would go to all these profs begging for GA in their first meeting. I had base GA on my I-20 (tuition waiver + $250/pm), so never had to worry about it. He asked me why I was in US. My answer was to study and learn US culture (I couldn't tell him poverty back home has driven me to his shores, after all I was proud Indian back then). Then started talking about culture, courses etc (frankly I was just happy to talk to some white person. Couldn't understand most of what he was saying). Never brought up a topic of GA increase. He was impressed that I didn't bring money during our first meeting. Later on he hired me to full GA and we did lot of industry projects together. Frankly I was just as confused, lost, bewidered to get $250 as I was later on, when he increased it to $1500.

We are now independent adults and there is more to life than giving tests. God please send me back in time and turn me 20 again.

Mumbai_2009;322950Last year 28th was my last working day at work. I was one and only different skin in the entire office and always maintained cordial relations with my colleagues. Mainly professional and a bit to hang out on happy fridays/bowling/trekking. had been invited few times on Thanksgiving Dinners but had always felt left out in those gathering because not much common topics to talk other than work/sports for DH/movies/Obama. I had always been very cautions of the cultural differences inshort always on my guard not to make any insensitive comments about culture/lifestyle/politics so those outings were more like mental burdens for me.

I hate office get together. There is absolutely nothing in common. My prof/adviser invited all of our class to his house during grad school. He asked if my parents back home drank out of well and if they have to travel far away to fetch that water. Then there was this one time when one lady who works on same floor asked if my brother has enough to eat. Kid you not but I asked her if she could spare twenty. And she was like I will write you a check. Guess wanted IRS deduction for it. And then there are ones who show that they understand Indian culture by knowing some random Indian who owns a motel or subway. This one co-worker went on a word vomit one day explaining this one Indian guy. She went on and on about how he wore same shirt twice, how he cooked food at home once and ate it for a week. Couldn’t figure out if she was in love with this guy or somehow giving me some guidance. No, I do not wear same shirt for another 2-3 weeks and I don’t know what c in cooking is!!

This one lady used to live in small little town, way outside city limits. Apparently she knew some Indian family back in her hell hole, and they owned a subway. She thought she knew everything there is to know about Indians. She would never miss a chance to bring up their daughter for me to date. And then very close friend of mine's family wanted me to date some girl from Morocco. Somehow they thought every non-white must be same culture. To tell you the truth my eye would be on their daughters. Ummm, can I like take your daughter for a date and mmmmmm!!! I bet they would have shot me. They had more guns in their house than people.

Will never forget a lady who wanted us to convert. She found my roommate on doorsteps of my college. She got all the information and showed up in our apartment on Sat. I always slept in late, so was inside. Somehow I overheard some conversation in living room in some loud voice. One of my roommates was 6’4” and 300-400lbs. He was staunch BJP and Hindutva material. So story goes that this little old lady brought us some food (left overs to be specific, don’t I deserve some fancy food afterall you are asking me to give up religion. Atleast show me what am I missing out on). She started talking about simple things and then moved onto heavy topics about religion. She went on explaining rampage on how only Christians will go to heaven and rest are doomed to live in hell. So she was there to save us mere mortals and book a seat in heaven for us (later on found out that she was setting up her retirement. She got some check on every convert she could bring). After listening to her sermons from Bible, my roommate started with explaining Gita to Ramayan and if I had not intervened he would have performed Mahabharat with this little lady. She invited us to her house on next Sunday for lunch.

Well in college I was always a pig looking for free food (somehow my views changed after I got married, now people who eat free food are scumbags IMO). After me and my roommate went there, they had all lunch planned. Only delight I could find was this super hot girl in that group and she made that afternoon worth living. We talked for few mins (actually an hour) and then sat down on table to eat lunch. Well after food was all served on plates, they also served bible for every person and made us read some stupid verses out of it. Something about Jesus humping somebody and all of a sudden they feel better and that we all are supposed to do the same (well atleast that is the way I understood it). After we were done with lunch on such beautiful afternoon she took both me and my friend to another room along with this super hot girl. I just wanted to kill my roommate and leave him to dogs. But as I was salivating for dessert after this lunch she explained to me that this daughter of hers is a nun. I kept looking at that nun and was like can you spare a day for me and then go back to your business. What a waste of talent I tell you!! Jesus must be turning in his grave when this girl decided to hump only fathers in a church. After this shock, this lady started talking about process of conversion to Christianity. I was engulfed by thoughts of things that this nun was missing out on and how she could be angel of my life (well she was Japanese and only things I could think of were some special movies that I saw where Japanese girls would talk to some random guy and they would go to his bedroom to eat some dessert). Anyhow after about an hour of old lady’s speech, she asked me when I would like to convert!! I wanted to say after you feed me lot of these free lunches and give me this nun for dessert. But I knew that wouldn’t work, so I left my roommate for to answer that question. After all he was the one who brought this devil home. I mean who gives their address to some stranger on college doorsteps.

Maybe daughter asked your friend for address :).....damn, you are funnier than I thought ...hope you have an exam every week :)

I see two posts above :)

"I hate office get together. There is absolutely nothing in common."

"My experiences with ignorant Americans."

I am anxiously waiting to hear the details on the first one ;)

jupiter_009;335664 Just that mention about such incidents when your DH is home and relaxed, and you want to give him a tease :)

Then conversation will go like this:
Mr. XOXO: Oh man! what a day. So busy all day long. I am just happy to be home and with you after such a long day.

XOXO: Ya. You know what happened today?

Mr. XOXO: Man! this Delhi traffic is so bad. Even flyovers are congested. You sweat while you are sitting in fully air conditioned car.

XOXO: Ya Mumbai is getting like that too. But anyway I went to library today.

Mr. XOXO: Food there is really awesome though. It can't beat Mumbai pav vada.

XOXO: You bet. Anyway I was reading a book. Do you know what is my favorite fictional character?

Mr. XOXO: (Confused) Ofcourse, Mickey Mouse.

XOXO: (all excited with getting a hit on, forgets to bitch on lack of knowledge about partner). No Dumbo it is Edward Cullen.

Mr. XOXO: Oh ok. So this driver was driving car at 80 when speed limit in Delhi is 50. He just swerved like anything. I bet he will kill somebody someday. Traffic on Delhi streets is a total chaos. Back in US it was so organized.

XOXO: So anyway I was reading about this Edward Cullen and he is placed in Young adult section books and I had no intention of buying the book. So thought of reading it then and there. Had some time so grabbed a chair to read.

Mr. XOXO: Oh ok. This CWG is becoming such a big deal in Delhi. It is everywhere. They are blocking lanes and making already bad traffic worse. These politicians I tell you are not gonna do anything for our country. They will never solve our problems and we will have to deal with it ourselves. People in Delhi are so corrupt. They want bribe for letting you breath. There are so many bhaiyyas, you know UP/Bihar is right around the corner. Here in Bombay is it so much better. MNS is uselessly making them leave. They are doing such great service to Bombay.

XOXO: As I was reading saw a guy hovering around me. As there were shelves of books around, I thought the guy was just probably grazing thru the books. Anyway he comes up and starts conversation with me.

Mr. XOXO: (now quiet, finally he is in Bombay) What? What happened?

XOXO: Ya he asked me if I was south Indian

Mr. XOXO: (with full attention) What, south Indian? You don’t even look like south Indian. Why did he ask that?

XOXO: I don’t know. Then he asked if I went to Menon college?

Mr. XOXO: Why? You don’t even live around that college. That library isn’t even around the college. What did you say? You should have just asked him to leave. Or you should have just left.

XOXO: Well I couldn’t. I went there to read a novel and have a good time.

Mr. XOXO : Back in US people would leave you alone. I never bother any girl.

XOXO: Then he asks me are you married?

Mr. XOXO : Oh man! You should have left at this point. I cannot believe you still cannot understand what guys want. I have told you so many times that these guys in this country are just frustrated. They get nothing at home and are lurking around looking for females. It starts with such talks and then before you know it, they are asking for your number and harassing you over the phone. If you don’t give number then they will start stalking you and come to your house or job. I saw it in a movie where Manisha Koirala gets harassed by this guy.

XOXO: Well I was just busy reading my novel. I didn’t expect him to come back. But he did and asked me where I live. I just told him that I live very far like 60kms from here. Then he goes like if you come here frequently? I just said frequent enough and started reading my book. But he would not budge. He then wanted to know where I work.

Mr. XOXO: did you tell him anything?

XOXO: Ofcourse not. Do you think I am that stupid? I run a business too. He was so adamant and wanting to start conversation.

Mr. XOXO: Well you wanted the attention and I bet you were enjoying it.

XOXO: Have you gone mad? I told you I was just enjoying the book. He was just asking me questions. It’s not like I went out for a cup of coffee with him. And the fact that I am telling you means it was nothing. I was harassed there and now you are blaming me for it? You guys are all the same.

Mr. XOXO: I am not blaming you. You should have just said it is none of your business.

XOXO: (will teary eyes but tears not coming out) You are blaming me. As if I wanted this guy to come to library and wanted him to harass me.

Mr. XOXO: I said I am not blaming you. Why do you always misunderstand me? I am trying to protect you from these bozos.

XOXO: I know your mom doesn’t like me but I didn’t know that you are suspecting me of having an affair as well. What do you want me to do to prove that I am not going behind your back?

Mr. XOXO: (all confused) When did I say you are having an affair?

XOXO: You think I am stupid? Both you and your mom always treat me like I have no sense at all. I hardly visit my parents just for the fact that your mom will not like it and this is what I get in return? I didn’t get to stay on rakshabandhan for very long. No matter how much I try to please your mom, it will never be enough for you.

Mr. XOXO: I am not asking you to please my mom. Just be yourself and don’t disrespect them.

XOXO: I have taken such huge risk with this business. I am busy every single day of my life. I am tired of dealing with amateur architects and you blame me for getting harassed on streets of Bombay. I told you not come back to India. But you wanted it so badly. And on the top of it you wanted to stay with your parents to save on money. Before marriage you were never such a miser. You have changed after marriage. Now you just listen to your mom and never listen to me.

Mr. XOXO: I never do. I always listen to you. It was your idea to come to India as well.

XOXO: I just wanted you to be happy. Now we are having to stay here in such small apartment to please your parents and save on few pennies. I am having to learn this finance stuff online which I never had to deal before. It is really hard you know.

Mr. XOXO: I know. I understand baby.

XOXO: No you don’t. You never care how I feel. You never show any love. It is always about cricket, politics, traffic, roads, parents. How long it has been since we took any vacation?

Mr. XOXO: You know we cannot afford that! Plus you went to hiking just little while back.

XOXO: Ofcourse I am enjoying my life here. While you and your mom are just being tortured by me. If you want I will leave the house and live somewhere else.

Mr. XOXO: That will just solve all the problems. (He can’t believe what he just said. Now repenting but its too late)

XOXO: (crying profusely)

Mr. XOXO: I am sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. It just came out of nowhere. Oh man!

Now laying on bed XOXO cries with her face towards the door while Mr. XOXO lying straight can’t believe what just happened. How he who came back from Delhi after such a long trip and such difficulties, have to deal with this at home. He always thought his wife, a businesswomen, is so practical. Now she is doing all this drama.

Mr. XOXO: I am really sorry for all the stuff that happened with you today. I really didn’t mean to say anything to you. You know, this stress in India is getting to me and I am losing my nerve at times. You remember I never used to be like this back in US. I will try to change and never blame you for anything.

XOXO: (no response, but stopped crying)

Mr. XOXO: Its like you can only deal with so many things in your day and especially when you come back from US, where everything is so easy, it is difficult to handle. I am really sorry.

XOXO: (still no response but has her face towards Mr. XOXO)

Silence for few mins

Mr. XOXO: I am really sorry. I swear it will never happen again.

XOXO: (still quiet but looking towards Mr. XOXO)

Mr. XOXO: (Now smiling looking at XOXO) Say something

XOXO: (staring and after few mins smiling back)

Mr. XOXO: Now say something

XOXO: Don’t think I have forgiven you. You just don’t have any emotions. Don't have any brain.

Then XOXO hugs Mr. XOXO and both of them go to sleep.

Note: Sorry guys no hanky panky stuff tonite.

Disclaimer: As usual all characters are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any living or dead. Any reference to any forum id is purely non-incidental and non-confrontational in nature.

returning_indian;481466Life of Pi

Just saw this movie in 3D and was amazed at Lee's direction and all the other involved. This article does explain some struggles with making of the movie. http://insidemovies.ew.com/2012/11/23/how-ang-lee-saved-life-of-pi/

Page 5 From that article...(haven't seen the movie yet but will do so soon)

"Yes, Lee was even responsible for teaching Sharma to swim.For someone who had never acted in a movie before, Sharma found himself with not just the massive responsibility of not only carrying this fantasy-survival tale, but also doing his own stunts. Many of them involved swimming, so Lee and Co. had to make sure he knew what he was doing.
Among the most complicated shots required Sharma to swim underwater through a submerged hallway in the steamer ship while it was sinking. Sharma concedes that he had many points where he was close to breaking, but says it was the expectation of Lee and the crew kept him going.
“There were so many people involved in this and so many people who are so good at what they do, they all genuinely became like a family to me,” Sharma says. “And when you’re with your family there’s no pressure, there’s no pressure. When I did feel like I was going to break down, I would hold it, hold it till there would be a crying scene, and then I would just cry. That worked!”"

Yesterday had couple of incidents which led me to belieive that life ain't so bad in India.

Banking:
I went to purchase some stuff (for measly Rs.140)and handed my debit card. After putting my pin couple of times it was declined. For some reason I thought my wife took out all the money from account and left me for good. Went to nearby atm to check (in same building). It didn't work at atm either. So was pissed at bank. Being sunday I could not take my frustration out on bank either. Some sense prevailed and I pulled my iphone out. Logged into my bank account. Lo behold there was an option to reset your pin. It asked to put in cvv number, sent an otp and voila! Pin was reset to choice of my pin. I took out cash and paid cash to complete transaction. It all went smoothly without any hiccup. I was really impressed by banking advancements compared to 10yrs back when there were not even atms. Regardless of what anyone tells you India really is progressing. Corporate America (and competition) is making companies more geared towards customer convenience. I am sure in near future I will face an incident where I will be pissed at something. For today I am happy.

Schooling:
So our son goes to this new school. It is quite expensive but so are all international schools in Gurgaon. Annual day of school is this week and we were getting emails for last few weeks about something like this coming up. Didn't pay too much attention since what could be expected from a kid in pre-nursery. Well on Sunday all of a sudden our son (3.5yrs old) starts singing bum bum bole (from taare zameen par) and starts doing some actions. All of this was while watching TV. We never taught this song to our son or watch on TV infront of him. All of a sudden light bulb went off. School has been secretly teaching our son on how to dance on this song. Well we went to youtube and played this song. To our realization he has learned all the moves of the song and showcased infront of us. That is when we learned this was probably a secret from school which they were planning to reveal infront of us on annual day function. Little did they know a 3.5yr old can't keep a secret. Well I am glad he did. Now I am excited to go to his annual function and look forward to it. It was just few months back that this school did something similar with their science week. Without letting parents know they taught kids everything and had them make their own projects. It was only during the week that parents found out what kids have been working on. Quite a change from older times when parents had to struggle during science projects.

Ecommerce:
Ecommerce in India is exploding like crazy. New and new companies are coming up everyday to facilitate customer spending (and in turn spend more). Just last week some guy ordered two iphones and instead received wood. Well had it been older days, he would be pissed and worried for his money as well. But now there is an option for cash on delivery. He didn't lose a penny and returned box on spot. Quite a change.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/tech-news/Man-orders-iPhones-Snapdeal-delivers-pieces-of-wood/articleshow/45492851.cms

We went to shopping for groceries yesterday. Since time was at premium decided to not go to super store and instead went to some local roadside kirana store. To go to a super store takes lot of time, you have to park in parking lot, take cart, fill it, wait in checkout lane, then put groc back in your car. Too many components to handle. At kirana store you park right infront, tell what you want, guy puts groc in your car, pay and you are gone. Conversation was very interesting. Shopkeeper was a bihari:

RI: You have rice?
SK: For yourself?
RI: No I am buying for you. Ofcourse for myself you idiot, pathetic moron, taking extra space on this earth.
SK: No sir, is it for you?
RI: Don't you understand human language? Ofcourse it is for me. Why will I buy for you? Don't you earn enough?
SK: Sir, is it for you or for your maid?
RI: Oh, so why didn't you say earlier? It is maid and us as well.
SK: Is maid bihari, bengali, UP?
RI: What? Whats to you? I am here to simply purchase grains and leave. Why would I fill my family bio data for you? Just give me bloody 5kg rice and 10kg flour. If you can't then let me know I will leave.
SK: No sir, for every maid we have different kind of food. If you have maid from bengali she will not eat rice from bihar and vice versa.
RI: Why didn't you say so earlier? She....she is from UP
SK: Ok here you go. You want toothpaste, shampoo, etc etc for your maid?
RI: yes yes we do. Pack it all up

I was very amazed that shopkeeper knew exactly we wanted as soon as we stopped (beat that google analytics). They keep exactly what people want. Was little put off that people actually buy cheap stuff for their maid while eating expensive stuff themselves. I for one don't feel comfortable feeding less expensive items to girl who lives with us. I just don't agree with this discrimination in food especially when she lives 24hrs with us and does so much work for us. I guess I may be spending few hundred extra bucks but I guess it satisfies my ego.

returning_indian;588371
I was very amazed that shopkeeper knew exactly we wanted as soon as we stopped (beat that google analytics).

When you walk and talk like those yesteryears 'zamindaars' and 'thakurs', people know that you have got some household help.

cannot stop laughing :p

mn_op;588380When you walk and talk like those yesteryears 'zamindaars' and 'thakurs', people know that you have got some household help.