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What else would you say to someone who has sworn to be your friend forever? Yup, we are best friends. I have squabbled with my parents, argued with my husband, even fought with my baby (trying to reason with him to go to sleep) - but not once have I done any of those with my best friend. I have never explained any of my actions to him - he never needed an explanation. We could never hurt each other - we knew each other that well. No one understood me better than him, yet we were just friends. In spite of so many prying eyes, we never tried to explain our relationship. Our parents trusted us- thatz all that mattered to us. We never called ourselves Anna..sister, etc.. We were friends - best friends.

This blog is dedicated to our friendship ..

Disclaimer: Names have been altered to protect identity.

I was highschooling in Mysore. We were staying in a small town near Mysore. I had to take a train to go to school. I had little or no social life in my town as I spent most of my time in Mysore and in traveling. As a result,I had no friends in my town. When I was in 10th standard, my uncle decided that I should go to tuition if I need to score well in my public exams. I was reluctant to go and I tried to get myself out but with no luck.

On the first day, the experience was weird. I studied in a Co-Ed school at Mysore - At St.Joseph's, boys and girls sat in alternate chairs. We were never asked to sit separately or not to speak with the other gender.. In the tuition, the girls sat on one side and boys on the other. I was the only girl who rode a cycle to tuition!! The girls assumed that I would be a "head-weight convent gal" and decided to ignore me - I pushed myself on the girl sitting next to me - "Saraswathi" and made few friends in a couple of weeks. Yet, talking to the boys was a huge taboo.. which was still weird for me.
[Before you conclude that I am painting my town bad.. what I am describing is a scene from 1990's - Things have changed astronomically now!!]

To top that, there was this boy "Sudheer" who was annoying me. I hated his guts.. He would imitate me when I answered questions in the class. He would make weird noises when I walked into the room.. Oh everyday, I would come home and crib about this annoying character at tuition. By the way, if you are thinking that this is like in the movies, where the most hated person becomes closest - nope, you are wrong..this is NOT my best friend.. But he will lead me to my best friend..

The boys arranged a trip to ShivanaSamudra falls (GaganaChukki, Barachukki) and Somnathpura temple. I was not interested in going, because "Sudheer" and his gang were organizing the trip. But finally gave in to the pressure from Saraswathi. During the trip, Saraswathi became close to Sudheer and his gang. So, finally by the end of the trip, all of us were good friends. I told Sudheer how much I hated him and why - he swore not to mess with me again.. So, we were all friends..

Great, now my life was back to normal.. I have friends and Sudheer will not tease me.. So, happily I went to tuition the next day. As usual, I met Saraswathi on the way to my tuition and we were walking together. Saraswathi threw the bombshell at me - "did you notice Sudheer's friend "R" checking you out all the while during the trip!! I think, he might be interested in you!!" Whoa.. what!! Who is This "R" guy? I have hardly noticed him during the class or the trip. During the whole class, I could not focus..how do I handle this? Do I tell my parents? Nope, I'll handle this on my own. I hated love marriages - I can never think of hurting my parents!! (Ironically, I did go for love marriage, but without hurting our parents)

So, I walk up to his home (which was around the corner from our tuition class) - "R" was chatting with his friends. His friends left as soon they saw me coming towards them!!!! I went up to him and asked "What should I call you - Bhaiyya? Anna? or Annaiya?". Spontaneously he shot back saying - "Bhaiyya sounds good". I said "ok" and left. Now that puts that matter at rest.

The next day, Sarawathi shows up with a Rakhi - she tells me that "Today is Rakhi, why dont you tie this to R. That will put an end to all this!" I was like "what!!" but I see her point. How can you trust Sudheer's friend!! It doesn't hurt to just tie a Rakhi!!
[Now, is anyone wondering why Saraswathi is taking all these trouble to make sure that her poor friend "Sai_R2I" does not get into this!! Yup,keep wondering - I will come to that!!]

So again, I strut up to "R" and ask him to hold his hand out - tie the rakhi and wish him "Happy Rakhi". He smiled and thanked. Now I am glad this is all over..

In the evening, when I am returning home back from School, R meets me on the way.
R: Did I ever misbehave with you during the trip?
Me: No
R: Did I ever make you feel uncomfortable?
Me: You hardly spoke to me during the trip
R: Then, why did ask me such a question yesterday and tie Rakhi today?
Me: Saraswathi told me ... yadayadaya
R: That is such a BS. I have got no clue why she said that? How can you believe something like that?
Me: Well, you are Sudheer's friend!! Sorry but I dont expect good things from your gang!!
R: Okie, let me make myself clear now.. I have got no such intentions. Can we just cut this crap about being brother and sis, etc.. and just be friends.

R and Me shake hands - "Okie, lets be friends"..

That was the beginning of our wonderful journey as friends.

And btw, we used to tie Rakhi every year - but it was not to celebrate brother-sister relationship but to celebrate our friendship. After all, that is what brought us together. So, no matter where I was, "R" would come to my home on that day to get his Rakhi. We never told anyone that we tied Rakhi, etc. It was just between us.

[oh, about Saraswathi - later, found out that she is the one who had a crush on R. She was just eliminating competition.. Anyway, without her and Sudheer, I would not have got my friend "R", so, no hard feelings]

We completed our 10th standard without any more eventful happenings..

During the holidays, "R" and Sudheer used to hang around in my house as we decided which PU college to go to..
[Our house rule was that I can bring any of my friends to our home but I was not allowed to stand on the road and chat. I can bring home any number of friends and chat for however long we want.]
We three became good friends during this time. We would chat for hours - Sudheer would joke that he comes to my house for free coffee and Pakoda.

I joined Marimallapa's and those two guys joined Sarada Vilas College. For our first day, "R" decided that we three would go together to Mysore - I have never taken a bus on my own from my town to Mysore. I was very uncomfortable getting into a bus along with the crowd. I waited for everyone to get into the bus and then tried to get in at the end, after the crowd has settled down. "R" saw that and gave up his seat for me. From that day, everyday "R" would be at the bus stand to catch a seat for me - I never asked him for a favor. All through my life, I have never asked him for help or favor - I never had to.

In Marimallapa's, gals and guys were not supposed to talk to each other. If they were "caught" interacting, they would be brought to Principal's attention. A group of friends, "R" and I were chatting in our college. Seeing the Peon approach our group, all our friends left - for some reason, "R" and I did not leave. I did not see a reason to leave - we were not doing anything wrong. I was surprised to see that even "R" felt so - he did not abscond like others did. We both marched to the Princi's office - Since the Princi was not available, the peon let us go with a warning. With this incident, our friendship grew stronger..

Now, we were trying to look for a Tuition classes in our town for PUC. There was a very famous lecturer in our town who admitted only elite students. It was tough getting into his tuitions. All three of us, Sudheer, "R" and I went to meet him to be interrogated .. I mean interviewed.. He asked about my scores.. he said that I can join the class. He enquired about Sudheer's and "R"'s parents. "R"'s parents were well off but not that educated. He started lecturing about how "R" will also end up like them, etc.. I was so angry that someone could talk to my friend like that.. When we walked out of that room, I told "R" that I would not take up his classes. So, we three decided to look for a new tuition teacher.

There was one other lecturer but he taught only II yr - "R" spoke to him and convinced him to take classes for three of us for I yr.. So, there we were - a class of 3 :-) . This tuition was near my house, so we met at our home - chatted for a while and left for our classes - came back from our classes and chatted at our house for the rest of the evening .. don't ask me what we chatted for sooooo long.. There were moments when we would be just sitting around doing nothing - It was fine with us..or simply, we would be watching TV with my family..

By now, "R" and I have become best friends. "R" was respected a lot in his friend's circle. He had helped soooo many friends - so, when I walked into my town, none of the guys would tease me. "R" introduced few of his friends to me - "R" was very careful about who he introduces to me. All his friends that were introduced to me were such gems. They had such good quality and character. Our friendship was never scrutinized in our age group circle. There was a lot of trust in "R".

The problem arose in the form of "R"'s relatives. My neighbor's daughter and "R"'s cousin were classmates. The news started spreading to his relatives about how "R" spends most of his time at my house. They tried to question our relationship at every opportunity - "R"'s family knew my family well, so we never had to explain anything to them. Whenever I attended any of the functions/festivals at "R"'s family, it was tough to get past those prying eyes. In spite of all that, I have never missed any celebration at "R"'s place.

The PUC II yr public exams were nearing - I was a nervous wreck. "R" would bring material from all his friends to help me with my preparation. I wanted to stay up late at night to prepare for my exams, but had trouble staying awake after 11 PM.. sensing my problem, "R" started calling my house at 11PM, chat for a while - after all that talk, obviously I would be all awake.
[Yup, my parents did not mind me getting calls at 11PM - During this entire blog, though I keep reiterating about our friendship, what runs beneath all this is also my gratitude to my parents. I was so lucky to have such parents - without their trust, this friendship would not have been possible]

The public exams started - As I did not want to waste time at the bus stop, I asked my mom to drop me and pick me up from college on our Kinetic Honda. "R" and I would just talk for few mins on the phone during this period. Only one exam was left - Botany. I was excited about seeing my friends again.. We were driving to our exam hall, when my mom and I met with an accident. I was thrown to the mid of the road but did not get even a single scratch. My mom was lying in a pool of blood in the roadside - her head hit a rock, when she fell. She was unconscious - I did not know what to do. From nowhere, 3 guys came to my rescue - they said that they knew me, I had no clue who they were. They stopped a bus that was passing by. But that bus was packed full, so that bus left. They stopped the next car that was passing by. One of guys traveled with us. My brain totally stalled - I did not know what to do or even realize what was happening. They took my mom to JSS hospital - I regained composure and spoke to the doctor about what happened and requested her to start the treatment. I gave the contact number of my dad and uncles to that guy who was accompanying me and asked him to inform them. I was calm and composed - my mom was administered first aid and we were waiting for the specialist to arrive. My dad arrived - they started the treatment. My dad was running behind the doctors, getting medicines, arranging funds, etc.. I was just there sitting in a corner in the waiting room - all by my own. I had not shed a drop of tear, nor did I show any signs of fear - I did not want to further discourage my dad, who was already very disheartened.

After a while, I saw "R" coming towards me in the waiting room. Seeing him, I burst into tears - I screamed my heart out. He was struggling to console me. I was surprised that "R" knew about the accident [we never had cell phones at that time] - "R" was in that bus that passed by us after the accident. He was on the other side so could not see us but just got to hear of the two-wheeler accident. After the exams, he went to my college to celebrate - on knowing that I had not attended my exams, he suspected that we could have been in that accident. So, he started searching all the hospitals in Mysore and found us in JSS. From that moment onwards, "R" was with me every waking moment. My mom had to go thro' a brain surgery and by God's grace, she had a miraculous recovery. Everyday, "R" would come to my house at 6AM with breakfast from hotel for my dad and me. We would have our breakfast and "R" and I would head to the hospital. He stayed with me all day - and then he dropped me home at night and returned to his home. This was going on for weeks.

After the whole situation calmed down, I realized that Sudheer and "R" were not that close as before. After enquiry found out that during this period, "R" was criticized by lot of people for spending so much time with me. Sudheer's mom was one of them - she asked "R" some very embarrassing questions. I asked Sudheer why he did not back "R" up? He just replied that he dint find anything wrong in what his mom asked. I was furious at "R" that he was friends with Sudheer inspite of all this. "R" just said that he is my friend and people do commit mistakes - just let go of it. "Let go of it" - you must be kidding - I blasted Sudheer from head to toe. No matter how much Sudheer apologized later, it took me weeks to forgive him and talk to him. oh yeah,"R" was already back to his best buddy form within days - God, how quickly he forgives :angry: ..!!

Our PU results came out - I thought that I would have flunked and my career was doomed. I did not have the least hope that I will have any future. But, since I scored 49/50 in Zoology and did not attend Botany exam, my Biology score was 49/100. I passed.
[but my overall percentage became low - however, I withdrew my scores and wrote my exam again..]

This should have been the most happiest day of my life - my career is not over. I did not fail.. But turned out to be the saddest day of my life. "R"'s parents decided to send him to Blore to his sister's place. He will be studying from there. I cried like anything. "R" convinced me that anyway, I would have left him for some professional college, so this was bound to happen - true, but it hurts. That was the most painful good-bye ever :emrosesad:.

Sai_R2I, your writing style is really good....feels like a novel ...waiting for the next chapter..........keep it up

The next few months were spent in CET counselling, trying to decide on my course, trying to move to the new place, etc.. In the meanwhile, my dad got transferred back to Chennai. Things were changing at a very fast pace. I lost touch with "R" - I could not track his whereabouts, and since we moved from our town to Chennai, it would have been tough for him to track my whereabouts as well.

I settled down in my new college - got busy in the process of making new friends. This was the first time I realized how sheltered my life was, when I was with "R". I never had to worry about guys proposing, friends misunderstanding my intentions, etc.. "R" filtered all those factors without my knowledge. I learnt to handle such new issues on my own - I missed "R" so much. I kept looking for "R" in my friends, which was my biggest mistake. I just ended up getting hurt. After one misunderstood friendship, I stopped looking. As always, all my friends met at my house - they all knew my parents very well. Most of my friends were very close to my mom. They all understood that there was no way that I would fall in love, as it would hurt my parents a lot. By the end of my course, I had lots of friends, most of whom were guys.

So, did "R" and I ever meet again? ya betcha, we sure did. My first birthday at this new place was very lonely - I was still in the process of making friends. And, lo and behold, "R" stood there at my doorstep - I squealed in delight. I was so happy to see him. He got my address from my uncle. We got back in touch - he would drop in to my house from Bangalore and when I visited Blore, I met him. No matter what, "R" came to my house for Rakhi, his birthday and my birthday. He even joked that he must be the only person who has to take so much trouble to celebrate his own birthday. Years passed by, we both had our own set of friends, likes and dislikes - but best friends, it was just the two of us. When I went to blore, I met his girlfriends (yup, not just one!! He called it a Blore influence - he said that none of them were serious about each other!! :emdgust: Whaat!! Whatever!! :emcrook:), hung out at his joint with his friends - it was lots of fun. He had started smoking - I hate smoking, but since he liked it so much, for some reason, I did not find it repulsive. For years, we both kept moving around - but still we always kept in touch. We shared all our secrets, pain and happiness.

And I finally decided to settle down with my guy :love: - "R" was the first person to know. I had not even told my parents yet - which is a very rare thing. I called "R" and told him about this guy(my now husband). "R" could not believe it - at first, he was protective. He tried to make sure that this guy is a good guy - he was literally interrogating me about my guy's background. Then he was very supportive and wanted to talk to him. I wanted their first meeting to be very special. I wanted them to bond well - that was very important to me. Meeting in person would take a while due to the distance factor. I told "R" that I would make sure that my guy calls him and talks to him.

Circumstances were such that my guy and "R" could not catch up for few days after that..

Then one day, I got a call from my parents - "R" was on a trip with his friends to Balmuri Falls. Two of his friends got caught in the whirlpools, "R" jumped in to save them. He did save those two friends, but in the process, "R" drowned.

I was waiting for them to tell me that he was alright.. I kept asking them, where is he? Is he in a hospital?

It took me months to come out of it. I was in grief beyond description. I was in denial. For months, I believed that I would get a call from "R" saying that there was a misunderstanding and that he is very much alive. Even now, when I write this, I cannot even associate the words like dead or no more with him.. He is my best friend and He will always be my best friend - there is no past in that. It hurts so much to think otherwise.

I miss him so much - there is nothing more to say.. Sorry, if it sounds cheesy but this is how I feel - Our friendship will live as long as one of us lives, atleast through our memories. I don't cry anymore - I just think of the sweet memories. I always try to keep them alive.

I feel like I am ending this blog abruptly, but I want our pleasant memories to linger more in your mind than the pain. So, thatz it.

Your story deflated like a big balloon!

Are all these characters fictitious?

PeterGriffin;297639Your story deflated like a big balloon!

Are all these characters fictitious?

Sorry to have disappointed you.
All characters and events are true.

Sai_r2I,
Thats really sad that he lost his life so early on..Must have felt terrible for you..My heartfelt sympathies to you...:(

But like you said, the happy memories live on for you..That was a very touching story..Very well written blog. Thanks for sharing it..

I personally have some great, dependable, close friends among guys..I shared a couple of stories briefly in the other thread (platonic 101)..I have always believed and experienced that platonic relationships are possible..During college especially (since we are single and the chances of getting linked up are more), I always used to think "why is it that people can't accept a boy and a girl as just friends"..I used to call it "one track mind"..:)