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Truths of Life -------------- Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. Reading when you're ...

So, while reporting a hit-and-run accident scene, the first policeman says to the second, ?OK: body on the road, hands on the road, legs on the road, head on the median.? His partner writes, stops, thinks for a moment, then asks, ?How do you spell ?median??? So the first policeman looks around ...

t was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write ?Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2″ on the card.

I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card. It read ?Happy Anniversary. You?re Number 2.?

Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed a new head Samurai so he sent out a declaration throughout the country that he was searching for one. A year passed and only 3 people showed up: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai and a Jewish Samurai. The emperor asked the ...

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '? and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then ...

It was a nice weekend, so John spent the morning driving around looking for yard sales. After just a few minutes looking, he spots a sign posted in someone's yard that reads "Talking Dog For Sale." Interested in what this might actually be, John knocks on the door. The owner calmly tells him the dog ...

The Smith family was very proud that their ancestors had come over on the Mayflower, so they hired best-selling author Frank McCourt to look up and write a book about their family history. Horror of horrors! They discovered that great uncle Fess had died in the electric chair for committing a murder ...

Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger”


Wife: “I’ll clean the toliet bowl.”
Husband:”How does that help?”

Wife:”I use your tooth brush.”

Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget ...