Should women of all ages be allowed in Shabarimala temple ?
Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:25 am
In General, the prevailing sentiment among women folks is 'Men set the rules' (in setting up many of the societal customs hard for women, in workplaces, in politics, in authority for making glass ceilings higher for women to reach leadership roles and so on)..Women need to direct their ire towards men for doing so but instead of that, majority of women treat other women with contempt instead !! (Reasoning is, evolution has not advanced enough to not treat fellow woman as a competition); May be same evolutionary traits make women to not treat men as enemies but treat them with respect to seed the next generation for the survival of human kind . If evolution is not the reason, we need to do research on women psychology !!
I don't deny that 'some women' or 'exceptions to such stereotyping' exist and there are various degrees to this generalization. It may differ from individual to individual or per situation basis on how women treat other women. But in general, in society, by and large, women to women treatment isn't very kind hence the adage that women are women's worst enemies (people seem to have accepted this adage too seeing the percentage of cases where women feature primarily in dowry harassment, DIL-MIL fights, and gender discrimination)..
Lunch with the team. One female colleague is expecting her first child due in 3 months. To do shopping for the baby items, couple sought the info about the gender and know in advance from their doctor. The colleague shared that with the extended/immediate family when they asked; Least enthusiastic response came from husband's mother (my colleague's MIL) ; Muted response from rest of the family, colleague's parents were the only ones to express joy openly, some also offered consolation ( Why they could not avoid using 'consolation' still irks me). Her MIL is not uneducated (most MILs or elder female relatives in India who are in their early/mid 50s now had good upbringing, had college education, had paying careers but why they feel disheartened) nor are her parents. Can't give such people, the benefit of doubt that they are in a rural setting (with agricultural fields when parents preferred boy(s) as it was mostly men contributing to tough manual labor in the past).. Patriarchy has little meaning in current educated connected world, be it US or India. Parents have to educate and groom to be self sufficient be it any gender , then why such preference ?
Colleague didn't share what was her reaction for their response..I was used to hearing gender disparaging comments from society while growing up (as we were all girls from my parents side) but once I became an adult, I didn't keep quiet when I heard such words. Expecting rest of the society to do all the societal change is not apt and I feel we women need to be ready to be the flag bearer for the change.. After all, we constitute 50% of any society and if we want that percentage to continue for many more generations ! We need to speak up and not be defensive that women will be women or women do not have prime role in changing some of the societal norms !!
Earlier, society used to have preference on career choices of what a woman should do or should not do but since 90's, open Indian economy has helped large percentage of women to enter workforce in various fields(apart from conventional fields like banks and teaching), so the societal norms of what is acceptable is changing every year. NRIs who left Indian shores in 80s and 90s decade are late to know about these changes, so they might behave still like their parent's generation and are still set in old type of thinking that men are the only ones who are capable of re-writing societal norms..Slow in accepting women's role in change is understandable bit having no role ? We can be content in playing 'damsel in distress' or instead be role model to our own girl child.. point out the societal follies but don't be defensive about women's role historically in continuing some of those follies . Whenever opportunity presents under your control, don't allow woman/girl to be discriminated ever; be it by a man or a woman.
Choice is women's in stopping this history of discrimination or continue the status quo !!
I had written this when ABC's 20/20 program on India's girl child missing segment was aired.. Converted as blog as It is still valid today when women in MH are planning to enter Haji Ali Dargah or Shani temple amid lot of societal opposition..
I don't deny that 'some women' or 'exceptions to such stereotyping' exist and there are various degrees to this generalization. It may differ from individual to individual or per situation basis on how women treat other women. But in general, in society, by and large, women to women treatment isn't very kind hence the adage that women are women's worst enemies (people seem to have accepted this adage too seeing the percentage of cases where women feature primarily in dowry harassment, DIL-MIL fights, and gender discrimination)..
Lunch with the team. One female colleague is expecting her first child due in 3 months. To do shopping for the baby items, couple sought the info about the gender and know in advance from their doctor. The colleague shared that with the extended/immediate family when they asked; Least enthusiastic response came from husband's mother (my colleague's MIL) ; Muted response from rest of the family, colleague's parents were the only ones to express joy openly, some also offered consolation ( Why they could not avoid using 'consolation' still irks me). Her MIL is not uneducated (most MILs or elder female relatives in India who are in their early/mid 50s now had good upbringing, had college education, had paying careers but why they feel disheartened) nor are her parents. Can't give such people, the benefit of doubt that they are in a rural setting (with agricultural fields when parents preferred boy(s) as it was mostly men contributing to tough manual labor in the past).. Patriarchy has little meaning in current educated connected world, be it US or India. Parents have to educate and groom to be self sufficient be it any gender , then why such preference ?
Colleague didn't share what was her reaction for their response..I was used to hearing gender disparaging comments from society while growing up (as we were all girls from my parents side) but once I became an adult, I didn't keep quiet when I heard such words. Expecting rest of the society to do all the societal change is not apt and I feel we women need to be ready to be the flag bearer for the change.. After all, we constitute 50% of any society and if we want that percentage to continue for many more generations ! We need to speak up and not be defensive that women will be women or women do not have prime role in changing some of the societal norms !!
Earlier, society used to have preference on career choices of what a woman should do or should not do but since 90's, open Indian economy has helped large percentage of women to enter workforce in various fields(apart from conventional fields like banks and teaching), so the societal norms of what is acceptable is changing every year. NRIs who left Indian shores in 80s and 90s decade are late to know about these changes, so they might behave still like their parent's generation and are still set in old type of thinking that men are the only ones who are capable of re-writing societal norms..Slow in accepting women's role in change is understandable bit having no role ? We can be content in playing 'damsel in distress' or instead be role model to our own girl child.. point out the societal follies but don't be defensive about women's role historically in continuing some of those follies . Whenever opportunity presents under your control, don't allow woman/girl to be discriminated ever; be it by a man or a woman.
Choice is women's in stopping this history of discrimination or continue the status quo !!
I had written this when ABC's 20/20 program on India's girl child missing segment was aired.. Converted as blog as It is still valid today when women in MH are planning to enter Haji Ali Dargah or Shani temple amid lot of societal opposition..