r2i forum

cnu;59479Triggered by another thread...

Be it abroad or India we will come across bullies/thugs/rowdies [whatever name u call them], either you being the subject or you witness a victim. Obviously safety is first, I'm going to ask few scary questions:
For all the questions, imagine the thug/thugs is/are like a monster
[LIST=1]

What if you are the subject of attack [Run away but you are inspiring the opponent or resist?]. I understand safety is important, if we dig deeper is there any thing farther to this?

What if your dear ones are the subject?

What if there is a person not related to you but is a victim?[/LIST]Apologies I know this is very sensitive issue, we can totally ignore it or assume this mite happen and react pro-actively.

ps: Admin, if you think the topic doesn't belong here, please feel free to edit/delete/whatever with it.[/quote]

I have in past left it to my own insticnts. Sometimes when you are angry you don't think straight and I got told off big time by my loved ones for taking the actions that I took.

Basically, where I leave now in UK, we had some furious building activity in progress very near by. Which invited few youngsters in the area, who were using empty houses to hang out and smoke pot etc. After a while they started spreading their wings, and started damaging other properties. Once of twice I ignored them, when they threw stuff at my house. However one evening as soon as got out my car in the evening I saw them throwing stone at my house, for some reason I lost it completely at that time, picked up a brick and ran after them. There were 5 of them, and the look of my face and brick in my hand scared them off, and they ran away. 15 minutes later, they came back in large number 15 strong mob, fortunately I had called the police after the 1st incident, so police arrived more or less at the same time. So disappered after that. I did see couple of these guys as week later, I went up to them to apologise for running after them with brick in my hand but I was surprised to see that they apologised to me about their own conduct. I have not faced problem like that since.

But I feel that I made a mistake. Instead of running after them, I should have called the police in first place, or just kept a low profile. I think if you don't give them a reaction, there is no fun for them, so they just pick another victim. However in my case, Had I managed to hurt one of them, them surely I would have ended up in jail, lost my job and my family would have be subject to even more harrasment in my absense. However same bullies had hurt me then they would have been given community service or a causion as they would have been underage. Some of these kids are 6 feet tall and well built but may still be under 16 so they have not fear about the law.

I personally feel that we should always stand up to bullies, but knowing how law and order works in UK, I alter my views accordingly. :emsmile:

Chicago Desi;59534I am concerned about my kids being bullied in school. My daughter is 4 years old and I can see some kids bullying each other even at that age. I am not sure how to deal with this issue, other than bringing it to the attention of the teacher. One thought that I have had is to enroll her in a martial arts class to prepare her for hand combat if it ever comes to that.

If folks have experience with kids getting bullied in school or outside, I would like to know how they handled it.[/quote]

Martial arts class is one of the best things you can do for her in this particular situation. And I can't stress enough how important it is to talk to the teacher about it.
Added later. Kids are quite clever to identify bullying even at that age. Explain to your daughter what bullying is, forms of bullying, make sure she makes friends that you can trust, and help her make friends with decent kids. Unfortunately it does depend on the school as well, how they tackle bullying, some schools are really good at tackling things like that, some are not so.

maadhuribiscuit;59526

stone at my house, for some reason I lost it completely at that time, picked up a brick and ran after them.
[/quote]



Thats brave! what was going on in your mind when you were chasing? I mean if I had to do the same, I'd first chicken out, call police may be count the numbers, they were 5 and I'm just one ... what if they counter? What abt my family if something untold happens in this counter?

and after hearing yesterday's news this became kinda more important, what to do, I think Richard Whelan also fought back, but we never know whom we are against, poor thing heard he died. Dunno!

cnu;59546Thats brave! what was going on in your mind when you were chasing? I mean if I had to do the same, I'd first chicken out, call police may be count the numbers, they were 5 and I'm just one ... what if they counter? What abt my family if something untold happens in this counter?

and after hearing yesterday's news this became kinda more important, what to do, I think Richard Whelan also fought back, but we never know whom we are against, poor thing heard he died. Dunno![/quote]


Stupid rather then the brave I would say. I was being stupid, I lost my head and had a go at them, I only chased them for about 100 metres or so they jumped a fence and disappeared, but thats when I became worried and I called the police, Until then adrenallin had taken over or I wasn't thinking much. :emsmile:

This wasn't the only time I have chased bullies in UK , I have done it twice before that. In my experience each time I stood up to them, they legged it but I think I consider that my fortune. I now think that on each of those occasions, I could have prevented the escalation by ignoring the situation or being more patient. But I think you learn from your mistakes and I think I have learnt from mine without paying heavy price.

maadhuribiscuit;59535Martial arts class is one of the best things you can do for her in this particular situation. And I can't stress enough how important it is to talk to the teacher about it.
Added later. Kids are quite clever to identify bullying even at that age. Explain to your daughter what bullying is, forms of bullying, make sure she makes friends that you can trust, and help her make friends with decent kids. Unfortunately it does depend on the school as well, how they tackle bullying, some schools are really good at tackling things like that, some are not so.[/quote]

Thanks. She is not the subject of any blatant bullying yet, but it may help to give her a primer on this topic. The same girls she plays with indulge in banter which is threatening at times (or they run at each other when they are mad, more like in the animal kingdom, and more often than not, the other person backs down). I am sure she does some of the same at times, but she is emotionally soft and may be at the receiving end more often. I was surprised how vicious girls at her age can be when it comes to teasing or one-upmanship. I have not been involved because I feel she needs to cope with this herself because it will only get worse and if I protect her now, she will get even softer and expect me to protect her every time.

I am thinking of enrolling her in a martial arts class after the new year. She will be 4.5 then and may be better equipped to handle the class mentally. Her tennis classes were a dud, because she was 3.5 and never really took any interest and I don't want the same to happen with martial arts.