In Laws visit to US

PMBhazee · Post by **PMBhazee** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 7:41 pm

Hi All,
My sister in law's husband and myself are planning to bring our inlaws for a US trip. I am just curious what will be the etiquette regarding who will be sponsoring tickets, covering the expenses during there stay in US etc. Should we split between us or one will take the reposonsibility or is there any other way. Its not that I am unwilling to spend for my inlaws just curious since my parents will be following them and I would be the sole contributor for their trip. Just want to understand have you come across the same situation and how you have handled.

TIA
bhaz

kkr · Post by **kkr** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:04 pm

Without worrying about the sponsorship, technically, it's the two sisters bringing their parents here. Splitting the costs (roughly) evenly seems fair to me.

our.r2i · Post by **our.r2i** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:27 pm

PMBhazee;280373Hi All,
My sister in law's husband and myself are planning to bring our inlaws for a US trip. I am just curious what will be the etiquette regarding who will be sponsoring tickets, covering the expenses during there stay in US etc. Should we split between us or one will take the reposonsibility or is there any other way. Its not that I am unwilling to spend for my inlaws just curious since my parents will be following them and I would be the sole contributor for their trip. Just want to understand have you come across the same situation and how you have handled.

TIA
bhaz

I strongly believe in equality of genders, but if the sis in law/her hubby is not initiating the financial topic, I think, it becomes the son's duty to get his parents here and not the son in law's duty. So technically, I think you should be the bearer if they do not initiate.

Also, you/husband cannot initiate this topic with either the sis in law or her husband coz it will be awkward.

sunnysideup · Post by **sunnysideup** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:21 am

I think it depends on where they are staying longer...for eg. if they are coming to help with delivery of baby then that sister should take the responsibility.
Next it would depend on who has been here longer ... and finally all things being equal you guys should share the expenses.

ana · Post by **ana** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:19 am

If I were you, I will just take care of my in-laws. If your sister in law offers, they can take them for some sight seeing, fly them for a vacation etc..

rdecartus · Post by **rdecartus** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 8:34 am

You can take care of your in-laws this time and your sister in law's husband can take care when they visit again next time..

dbs · Post by **dbs** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:43 am

our.r2i;280386I strongly believe in equality of genders, but if the sis in law/her hubby is not initiating the financial topic, I think, it becomes the son's duty to get his parents here and not the son in law's duty. So technically, I think you should be the bearer if they do not initiate.

I believe that you are missing the point. Both usa parties have the exaclt same realtionship with the visitors.

our.r2i · Post by **our.r2i** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:06 pm

dbs;280544I believe that you are missing the point. Both usa parties have the exaclt same realtionship with the visitors.

This is what I understood.....
OP- A Lady
Sis In law(OP's Hubby's Sis) and her Husband

So tha parents in question become OP's In laws and the SIL's parents.

My point is that OP's husband should be the expense bearer in case the sis in law family doesn't initiate the topic. also, in case they do not, in all fairness they can take them for outings, sight seeings, etc. and bear that.

Ofcourse, if they are coming for your SIL's delivery then it becomes their responsibility.
OP, plz let me know if I am wrong. ;)

In case OP is a male- he should talk to his wife about his confusion( in the coicest of words. U never know how she interprets it.....lol) and let the sisters talk it out.

dbs · Post by **dbs** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:26 pm

our.r2i;280551In case OP is a male- he should talk to his wife about his confusion( in the coicest of words. U never know how she interprets it.....lol) and let the sisters talk it out.

That was what I understood. Personally, I would be very careful to choose the right 'choice' of words, talking to my wife. You just do not have any idea how careful we mere men have to be.

our.r2i · Post by **our.r2i** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:34 pm

dbs;280555That was what I understood. Personally, I would be very careful to choose the right 'choice' of words, talking to my wife. You just do not have any idea how careful we mere men have to be.

hahahha.....i can totally understand that from your postings DBS ji.
In this case particularly, it will take a micro second for the wife to conclude that the hubby does not want to spend money on her parents. She will forget the good intent of this chap in bringing them over. we women!!;)

one good way might be to tell wife that "plz do not her your jijaji(sister's husband) only to spend on the travel. we will share the cost or rather let me pick up the tab."

chances are, she will say "no my dear swami, why should you only do it, they are parents of both of us.....so i will talk to her clearly."
your job is done. meethi churi(sweet knife) type plan. how mean I am!:(